I have noticed many African American men failing to settle down and have kids. Of course there are some who are prone to have many and unfortunately some of these men refuse to be permanent figures in their children’s lives. However, lets focus on African American males who are heterosexual and who aim to be good men. These men are not marrying. Yet, the opposite attitude is prevailing in countries outside the States. For example, Africans on the continent routinely have 3 or more children per household; indeed, many have 4 to 6. So why is the African American male refusing to have children? Why is the birth rate among African Americans tepid?
The answer lies in the edict African Americans as a whole have adopted, “follow the white people”. White males across the world refuse to marry white females. Thus, the white family and population are declining exponentially. The adoption of white mores by African Americans is the main reason marriages are on the decline within the community.
I hear African Americans males who are in the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s declaring they cannot find an African American woman. As if it was ever easy to find a woman. Why are they so discouraged? Why are they so afraid to settle down? Surely there are plenty of African American women who want to marry and have children. Yet, the race within the US has created unrealistic expectations for itself.
It is easy to bash females as well as males. There is plenty of ammunition for both sides who promote these arguments. But I believe the single most important thing that must occur is a social and cultural change within the community. Number one, economics is important, yet it does not supersede human functionality.
I say this to say that African American men and women must adopt new cultural behaviors which emphasis harmony among the male and female genders. I am willing to start the conversation, are you?